Rudy Claggert’s Bullet

by Luke Brett

(Sound of a harmonica and the screech of a buzzard. Boot spurs walking on sand)

SHERIFF:
All right, just putcher hands in the sky now, Rudy Claggert. We got a paper from the governor here tellin’ us to bring you back ta town and hang ya.

RUDY:
Aw come on now, John. We-we grew up together. We was school boys together. I know you ain’t about to give me to the hangman!

SHERIFF:
Not in the mood, Rudy. You’d be better off not talkin’. Deputy Hodges ‘n I have been chasing you across this desert for four days now and we’re plum agitated.

HODGES:
Aggravated, more like.

SHERIFF:
You stole four horses, Rudy. Four. Man can’t make no living without his horses. Now we got a job to do. You know the law.

RUDY:
Now wait a minute John. I’ll make a bet with you. You see that bell way over yonder there in the villa? I got my peacemaker on me and I’m a purdy good shot. Whaddaya say you give me a day’s head start to ride away from you gentlemen if’n I can hit that bell?

SHERIFF:
Rudy, why would we make a fool bet like that? You know we don’t stand to win nothin’.

RUDY:
If I miss, when I’m on the gallows, I’ll pledge mah heart and soul to Jesus in front of the whole town and repent for all I’ve done. But if you take me now without lettin’ me have my shot, I swear, when I’m up on the gallows, I’ll cuss up blue thunder in front of the women and children.

HODGES:
He will do it, sheriff. Awful disgraceful to hear him talk sometimes.

SHERIFF:
All right, Claggert. Reckon we’ll get you one way or another. Take your shot.

(Sound of a gunshot. A long pause. Sound of a body hitting the dirt)

HODGES:
Man alive, sheriff…you didn’t hafta shoot ‘im in the back like that. I was mighty curious to see if he could pull it off. Besides, mighta been nice, havin’ folks hear him repent for what he done.

SHERIFF:
It’s nothin’ to me. Churchgoin’ was the wife’s idea.